Etiquette; My Favourite Pieces #4.
Marcia Ong.
“Kristy, you are wearing a dress.”
APPROPRIATE FEMALE ATTIRE :
- a dress that covers the knees (even our uniforms had to be this long).
- kitten heels/mary janes/fancy sandals (sneakers are meant for sports, not everyday use and slippers are far too casual).
- a strapless/sleeveless top MUST be worn with a cardigan/shawl.
- bermudas were made for boys.
- NO CLEAVAGE.
- if, God forbid, you have a tattoo, it has to be completely covered.
- nothing too loud, please.
- no translucent/netted clothes ever.
basically, for years, we’ve been expected to dress everyday, wrapped from neck to ankles, in the curtains draped over our windows.
i was once told, in church, when i was about eight, that it was inappropriate to wear a strappy top to mass without a cardigan over it. i was eight. the person who told me this remains, till today, one of the most self-righteous WOMEN i know.
ive also been asked if i was really going to wear “those baggy jeans” out. i was fourteen.
last year’s Christmas dress was “a little inappropriate” and therefore “not really grand enough” because there was sheer material right above my breasts. i used it anyway.
i have a gay cousin.
she is one of the smartest, kindest and most generous people i know.
i adore her.
from the time we were little, she was forced into dresses, forced into ballet, forced out of her brothers teeshirts.
never allowed to be her own person or have her own identity, her parents live in denial.
i cant understand why they wont accept her.
“put on a dress, please? its Christmas. it’ll make daddy really happy.”
“maybe a skirt. ill go with you to buy one?”
i am proud to say that she has not and will never conform to the ideals her parents try to cultivate in her. she may not be allowed to proudly display who she is, but she never lets anyone make her feel uncomfortable in her own skin.
i truly admire her.
before my grandfather died, he told her father that eventhough her own parents wouldnt love her for who she is, he loved her “no matter what”.
she cried when i told her.
my grandfather was an openminded, just man.
it gives me great honour to say that my cousin and i, both gay, live our lives based on his teachings.
oh and by the way, he was a staunch Catholic, old-fashioned man.
but he never stopped learning.
i believe all women should always strive to learn and better ourselves. not for the sake of society, but for each other.
